Mascarpone, bar fights, Old Spice

If you're wondering why there's been a delay in posts it's because I've been busy. I've been writing a screenplay. It's about an ancient Roman gladiator who is so good at fighting that he wins in situations where you don't expect him to win, but then he dies at the very end but it's not so sad because he gets to be with his wife and son again. I'm not really sure yet what I'm going to call it. Anyway, having to go without blogs isn't an excuse for that mood you've been in all week. You should really get up and do something once in a while. Why don't you go out for a walk? Who is Jane?

For the first time ever I have a backlog of keywords. Today's keywords are from my pal Jesse and I have some more from Samantha who is probably starting to think I don't care for her anymore because I am keeping the mystique by not replying to her email. It has been some months since we last blogged and in that time we've been massively productive in other ways. The most exciting development in my life is that I now have a pair of pyjamas with sea horses on them. You can't see them but I plan to describe them in an upcoming post.

I have a minor personal philosophy that it is better to think economically rather than think too much. So when my boss mentioned to me that I should get some new cake recipes, I already had Jesse's keywords in the back of my mind. The whole thing sparked up a new wave of guilt about not blogging, starting a cumulative effect that places me here now at my Macbook with a spicy cake in the oven, mascarpone in the fridge. From the outside, this is a nice picture and it smells quite nice too. The reality is far from the retrospective domestic idyll you are imagining--it is  messy and shameful. The last time this happened I just had to go out and take it out on somebody. In Perth the locals seem to favour the old glassing technique but here I feel things are a bit more sophisticated. I know one guy dealt with it by cutting off his ears but I don't really think I want to go that far just yet.

The keywords, incidentally, are pretty much in keeping with Jesse's interests. It's almost like how if I were to choose three keywords they would probably be: watermelon, my hair colour and the length of my hair. Not funny? Shut up. Thanks for reading, everyone. We love you. It's not your fault that you had a distant father and you're not sure how to love us back. We will wait patiently for you to let us in. showmeyourswagger@gmail.com.